No Easter Eggs here.

Today's a special day, or at least has been in the past. One of the first things I did after vomiting to an excessive amount, and angsting, was to check up on the others' blogs. I suppose its not much of a surprise that everyone's disappeared, one can only imagine what happened to them.

On today, I think about Maduin, and what became of him. I hear his voice in one of his old audio clips, as he muses drunkenly, and finally starts to succumb to it all. I cursed so much. He was the strongest out of all of us, he was smarter than any of us. While I chose to be rash, he chose to be insightful. His methodology was beyond my comprehension, all of the nonsense and pranks or tricks, I can't help but wonder was it all his defense mechanism at work? Or was that his own descent into madness?

And then there was that day that he actually put his mask upon the Hollow Man. Was that it? Was that what happened to him?

Whatever came of him, I feel its my duty to support whatever choices he made. He supported mine. In a way, we were all just idiots in the dark, but I always felt he knew more than I ever would about this world. How long had I told myself 'Maduin wouldn't have fallen into this sort of bullshit', or 'Maduin would have gone a different route'.

I'm not him, I'm not the Pied Jester, Rabbitface McGee, and even now in this entry, I allude to what he was most known for, that mask of his. And like I've done before, I make my own jest, because if that is what I focus on, I can water down who he was to 'a guy that pulled tricks', I even sketched out some pictures of him pieing me after the Solstice Event so long ago.

But that's not who he was really. I mean, Maduin was all about changing perceptions, I think. He was about reacting differently than you should, acting outside the norm. When I think about it, I wonder if he was on to something that I'll never understand.

I may never understand.

And I think about all those lost, and that its me that is left. I can't BE him. I can't even fathom what it would be like to work like he did, to learn like he did. I'm just me.

zero.

And that's all I can be. It just needs to be enough.

So lets not forget what Madiun was really about, guys.





That sweet ass coat!

Ha, ha, Rabbit Man, I miss you over here.