What You Are In The Dark

I spent a lot of time thinking while on that path.

I mean, there was nothing else to do, but walk. So I thought *a lot*.

Sometimes between my rambling thoughts, I'd think back to my life.  What I did wrong, what I did right. How I'd change things.

I thought about how I'd approach people, or situations, try to use my head to analyze things further, use caution at all points, you know, a real layman's backseat analysis at solving problems.

Well that worked out real well, didn't it?

I cannot believe that it happened again, that shit spirals out of control so fast.  I mean, I get that its not my fault....well, okay maybe I should be to blame at least in part. Maybe I was being reckless when I looked at him.

I had no idea that would happen. I don't know if its something that I caused, or maybe he was programmed to do. I just don't know.

But I need to take responsibility for my part of this.

And now the area's got police and news copters about, talking about the 'wild killer' who killed an elderly man.

Never you mind that he chased me down four flights of stairs, took out drywall, and tore doors off their hinges to get at me. My only saving grace right now is that my face didn't pick up well on the hospital cameras.

Where the fuck is that perception filter that shows up conveniently, when /I/ need it?

Shit.

So now I'm hiding out in the woods, avoiding dogs and search parties.  Holy balls, I cannot believe how bad this mistake has gotten.

And you know what? I keep thinking about that stupid thing I pulled out of Matchbook. Its about the size of a cell phone, with little levers and stuff on it. The damn thing moves on its own accord a little, making whirring noises like those little wind-up cars from the 80s. I'm half tempted to let it go run free, so I can see where it leads, but right now, that's all I have.

Maybe when I get caught, I can offer it up as proof of what was (probably) making Matchbook do what he did.

Oh who the fuck am I kidding? I'm going to get shot dead if they find me.

Fuck me.