So many unanswered questions.

I can barely think, barely type, but I have to clear my thoughts.  None of this makes any sense.  I was dead.  *DEAD*.  This isn't something that just stops happening. What does this say about me? Does it make me less than a person now? 

The light's so bright, I can barely see.  But I remember things. I remember walking.  I walked for years.  Eternities. I couldn't stop walking. I had to keep going, in that bright and dark place.


And now I have just a few black leaves and constant nausea with me to remind me.  I was told
 
I was told that I was dead, and I felt I was dead. I know I was dead. And this was my punishment. To walk forever in a path of black leaves. I deserved it. I was a murderer.
 
I am a murderer.

But I read that my body was found.

My body.

How am I here? How do I breathe?  I...My left arm, it does nothing, I feel that.


I feel that its numb, that there was a bone ripped from me.

I remember that night.

That fucking night, when I died.

I need to process. I can't do it. I can't understand it. I'm so tired, I'm so hungry.  I have been walking for ten thousand years, and now this. There's always this one question that keeps coming to the forefront.

Why am I alive?  Why would anyone torture me so?

Damn you

Damn you for saving me.